Excerpt from Bound for Home
by Blake Allwood
I could feel the thousands of pairs of eyes watching me walk across the stage. My heart beat so fast, I thought it might burst and end me right there in front of the entire crowd. Every step closer to the microphone brought me closer to my dream.
That was when fear began to grip me. I couldn’t do this. Not only would I fail, but I’d be the dude who snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. There I stood, hoping no one noticed my trembling hand as I grabbed hold of the mic, about to catastrophically flop in front of the entire nation.
I heard myself tell the audience my name, then asked a few questions. My answers were monosyllabic. Shit, hadn’t I practiced with my sister for hours, her asking every ridiculous question she could think of to get me used to answering the judge’s questions? I’d even done a practice run at the bar a few times, allowing the drunken idiots to ask questions, but mostly they had been about my dick size. I doubted the judges would ask that here… then again, who knew what might happen on reality TV?
God, if you’re listening, just help me get through the song without singing off-key. I looked to the rafters as I sent up my little prayer, only to be nearly blinded by the stage lights. Oh, crap, what if I forgot the words? I was sure I’d forget the words. God help me, I can’t feel my tongue. Oh wait, there it is. It’s the lump that feels like a cotton ball in my dry mouth.
I couldn’t do this. I should just leave now. When I turned to walk off the stage, though, I heard the note strike that signified my music was about to start. No song meant as much to me as this one. I couldn’t screw this up. I couldn’t do that to my granny.
My granny had taken me in when I was just three. While my mother traipsed around the city doing God only knew what, Granny was my rock. She became the one I could always count on for a steady hand and unconditional love. No matter how bad things got, she’d sing me Amelia Denton’s song. “Love is just a hug, to keep you safe and strong” was her favorite lyric and one that I felt deeply. The song served as Granny’s remedy for when I’d cry for my mom or when I’d have a nightmare. She would pull me into her secure embrace and soothe me with those beautiful words.
The music transported me off the stage and out of the studio, away from all those watching, critical eyes. There were no more cameras, it was just Granny and me, sitting in that rocker, singing that song. I felt myself start to sing and, like when I was a baby, I could feel Granny’s strong and safe arms wrap around me protectively.
By the second verse, time had flashed forward, and I saw her lying in her hospital bed. A memory that always lingered just below the surface. The cancer had progressed, and she struggled to breathe, yet still she sang for me.
“And with these arms I hold you, forever in a hug,” she whispered in my ear as I watched her slip away from this life.
The tears were flowing down my cheeks as the song ended. The images in my head had vanished, replaced by the four judges sitting in front of me and the audience who’d been stunned into silence. Then a roar of applause echoed through the auditorium, the enthusiastic approval of thousands of strangers wrapping around me like an embrace. And for just a split second, she was there again, my granny with her arms around me, helping make my dreams come true.
I’d done it. On that stage, when it mattered most, I had sung from my heart to the person I loved more than any other I’d ever known. The audience was on their feet, cheering for me. For her.
Chris
The little you-know-what tossed another pile of books onto the desk in front of me. Actually, a mix of periodicals and books. Never mind her job involved separating them before bringing them over to the circulation desk, but damned if she didn’t do it to spite me.
Of course, with Audrey being the daughter of the head librarian, there wasn’t much I could do other than do her job too. I’d complained twice, and nothing had come of it.
I’d graduated two weeks ago with my library science degree, and I was already itching to find my own library, somewhere I would be in charge, maybe in a small town. I loved the idea of a quiet place where I could help kids and adults alike find and nurture a love of books. Naturally, it’d also be a place I wouldn’t have to put up with the likes of a coworker who didn’t do any actual work.
Here, in the suburbs of Nashville, all I did was clean up other people’s messes.
I gave the tart a nasty look and began sorting the different piles.
“Christopher,” my boss yelled from her office behind me. “Can you come here?”
I sighed. When I looked over at the head librarian’s wicked spawn, I saw her smirk. This would likely be my demise. I honestly liked her mother. The woman was smart and patient, though maybe too patient considering her daughter was worthless in this job.
“Yes, Mrs. Elliot, I’ll be right in.”
But not until I cleaned up Audrey’s mess. Already, several of the magazines had creased front covers because of how she’d carelessly tossed them on my desk. After I’d sorted out the worst of it, I went behind the circulation desk and entered Mrs. Elliot’s office.
I took a seat across from her, my eyes trained on her perfectly maintained desk, waiting for the worst.
“Christopher, are you happy here?” she asked, causing my anxiety to spike.
“Um, I’m not unhappy,” I said, and could’ve kicked myself. I needed to keep this job until I could secure my next one. Unemployed people had a much more difficult time finding a job, and since I was living paycheck to paycheck, I couldn’t afford to be unemployed.
Mrs. Elliot took a deep breath, then let it out, and said, “We have a new library branch opening in Crawford City. It’s small, and since the town hasn’t had a library since the early nineteen eighties, you’d be starting it from scratch.”
“Wait, starting what from scratch?” I asked, meeting her eyes and trying to wrap my head around the bomb–or gift–she had nonchalantly dropped in my lap.
“You just finished your library science degree, Christopher. I like you. Mr. Cummons, the library system’s director, likes you. You’re a hard worker and you love what we do here. So, naturally, you’re our first choice for the position.”
“You like me?” I asked, thinking of the war Mrs. Elliot’s daughter and I engaged in on an almost daily basis.
She smiled. “I like you a lot, actually. I’ve always been impressed with your work ethic. I had hoped that quality would’ve rubbed off on… well, anyway, that doesn’t matter now. Do you know much about Crawford City?”
I shook my head. “No, ma’am. To be honest, I don’t even know where that is.” Not that I considered myself a city boy, but I’d rarely ventured beyond the outskirts of Nashville.
The older woman chuckled. “Well, that’s not too surprising considering it’s a rather small town. It’s not all that far from here, and it’s pretty country. There’s a new mayor in town and he’s collaborating with their school district’s superintendent to establish a small library. They’ve asked us to oversee it as part of the Willingbrook Library System.”
“That’s cool. I always wanted to work in a smaller facility. I think I’m better suited for that environment.”
Mrs. Elliot looked at me curiously for a moment, before she asked, “Have you ever worked in a small-town library before?”
I shook my head. “No, I’ve only ever worked here. I did volunteer at the library in my high school, but that wasn’t exactly small either.”
“I’m going to tell you now, it won’t be anything like what you’ve done here. You’ll be the only employee there because, frankly, we can’t afford another person. Mayor Nash has assured me he has several volunteers who will work with you to keep the place operational, but volunteers are not employees. I’m not going to pretend this won’t be a difficult job if you decide to take it on.”
“I’ve already decided,” I said without hesitation. “Yes, please. I want to do it.”
She chuckled. “In that case, the job is yours. Over the next few months, we’ll be moving into the new building. Well, not exactly new. An old primary school that sits in the town square is being converted into the library. It’s small, but it’ll serve its purpose. As lead librarian, part of your job will be helping patrons learn how to request books from our larger system and access the system’s e-books.”
“That’s no problem. I’ve had to teach several people here how to access that system too.”
Mrs. Elliot nodded. “Well, I’m going to remain your direct supervisor, since our library is the closest to that one. You can always call on me if you have any issues.”
I was so overcome with joy that I could’ve danced out of the room. I didn’t, though. Instead, acting the part of a professional, I nodded and smiled politely, thanking her for the opportunity. The dancing would come later at home.
I went back out to the circulation desk with a spring in my step and when Audrey looked at me, I laughed, causing her to scrunch up her face.
Getting away from the boss’s lazy daughter might just be the best part of my new job.
To read more of Roth and Chris's story, click here.
https://blakeallwood.com/booklink/3219478
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Join us next week for more adventures of Milo and Clack!
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